Teaching Your Daughter to Speak Up: Building Assertiveness and Confidence
Encouraging your daughter to speak up, express herself clearly, and advocate for her needs is one of the most important gifts you can give her. Girls who learn to express their thoughts and feelings assertively have greater self-esteem and are better prepared to navigate social and professional situations (Parray et al., 2024). Assertiveness is about knowing how to speak out in a way that is respectful and effective. Here’s how you can guide your daughter to become a confident and assertive communicator.
Encourage Open Dialogue
As a parent it is important to make sure you daughter feels heard and validated and feels that what she has to contribute to conversations is important. Encourage her to share her thoughts, feelings, and concerns without any fear of judgement. Children who feel heard are more likely to develop higher self-esteem and resilience. Parent-adolescent communication is thought to provide children with an outlet for releasing their anxiety and stress and an opportunity to receive advice from their parents, directly enhancing their confidence for future endeavors and reducing the risk for depression (Wang et al., 2022) Listening actively and asking open-ended questions allows her to build confidence in articulating her thoughts and shows her that you care.
Praise her Assertiveness
When your daughter speaks up, even in small ways, praise her for doing so. Recognize her effort to communicate clearly and confidently, as this positive reinforcement will motivate her to keep practicing assertiveness. Reinforce her ability to express her needs and opinions, this will build her self-esteem over time.
Teach Her to Respect Others’ Boundaries
Being assertive means knowing how to stand up for yourself while also honoring others. Show your daughter how to handle disagreements by standing up for her own rights while still respecting the boundaries of others. It is also important that you model this in your relationship with her, facilitate mutual respect and show her how you can honor those you love while still disagreeing. This balance is needed for maintaining healthy relationships in all areas of life.
Non-Competitive, Supportive Environments
Programs like Girl Scouts or Girls on the Run provide excellent examples of where young girls can develop confidence and assertiveness. The non-competitive space can help girls learn practical skills and leadership through shared decision making and mentorship (Laylor, 2011). These types of programs produce personal growth, making them advantageous for teaching girls to become self-confident, self-respecting, and assertive.
Teach Her to Use “I” Statements
"I" statements, which center on your daughter's feelings rather than placing blame on others, can help her express assertively. Encourage her to say, for instance, "I feel upset when my ideas aren't heard!" rather than, "You never listen to me!" This approach helps her take charge of her conversation while teaching her how to politely communicate her feelings.
Takeaways
Teaching your daughter to speak up and advocate for herself with confidence is a worthwhile step in nurturing her personal growth and resilience. By encouraging open dialogue, praising her assertiveness, and teaching her to respect both her own boundaries and others’, you provide her with the skills to traverse the world with self-assurance and empathy. Programs like Girl Scouts or Girls on the Run demonstrate the importance of non-competitive, supportive environments in helping girls develop leadership and self-confidence. Equipping your daughter with skills like using "I" statements and actively listening to her feelings allows her to express herself clearly and respectfully, paving the way for strong, healthy relationships. As she learns to speak up, she will not only boost her self-esteem but also be better prepared to face challenges and welcome the opportunities in her personal and professional life (Parray et al., 2024; Wang et al., 2022).
Parray, A., Hemant Kumar Watts, Grover, S., & Dr. Shalu Gupta. (2024). “Impact of Assertiveness Training on Psychological Well-Being of Adolescents.” https://doi.org/10.53555/kuey.v30i5.5976Wang, R., Li, D., Zhang, J., Song, G., Liu, Q., & Tang, X. (2022). The Relationship Between Parent-Adolescent Communication and Depressive Symptoms: The Roles of School Life Experience, Learning Difficulties and Confidence in the Future. Psychology Research and Behavior Management, Volume 15, 1295–1310. https://doi.org/10.2147/prbm.s345009